travel

The Kingdom of Fife

I like Fife. Sadly, the feeling is not mutual.

Fife wants to kill me.

Or, at least, hurt me quite badly.

My first visit was as a nipper. We (me, Mutley and the Frog) rented a caravan for a fortnight
and in that relatively short time i got lost, almost hit by a car, badly burned on the ankle and nearly drowned. I also experienced one of the worst nightmares of my life – so bad i still get palpitations when i think of it.

Years later i went for a little cycling holiday in the Kingdom. At the end of day two i became so unwell i fell off my bike and could cycle no further. We had to phone home and arrange to have me 'air lifted' out.

I have since returned to Fife a number of times but have been most careful to stay no more than 24 hours. Longer than that would be to dice with death.

Fife hates me but don't let me put you off going. It's a lovely place and i'm sure you'll be just fine…

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