silly stuff, Uncategorized

Revenge on telemarketers and junkmailers

I received a number of unwanted sales calls last week and then coincidentally received the following advice from my uncle. If only everyone would start doing these things perhaps the telemarketers and junkmailers would all get proper jobs and leave us alone.  Incidentally, I came up with a similar idea for dealing with junk mail myself some time ago. It really works. I went from getting several bits of junk per week to maybe one every 3 months. Try it. If nothing else it will give you some small, wicked pleasure…

Three Little Words That Work: ‘Hold On, Please…’
Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.   Then when you eventually hear the phone’s ‘beep-beep-beep’ tone, you know it’s time to go back and hang up your handset… you have efficiently completed your task. These three little words could help eliminate telephone soliciting.

Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?  This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is then used to determine the best time of day for a ‘real’ salesperson to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering: If you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialled the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!!!


When you get those ‘pre-approved’ letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with postage-prepaid return envelopes, right?  It costs them more than the regular postage ‘IF’ and when they are returned. It costs them nothing if you throw them away! In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-prepaid return envelopes.

  • Send an advert for your local chimney sweep to American Express … they might need one!
  • Send a pizza coupon to HSBC … in case their canteen packs up.

You get the idea.

If you didn’t get anything else that day, then just send them back their blank application form … after all, it is their form!  If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn’t on anything you return. You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them, and it is their envelope after all … you are just returning it!!!!  

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the post, but folks … we need to OVERWHELM them, in order to stop them.  Let’s let them know what it’s like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they’re paying for it … Twice!

Let’s help keep Royal Mail busy. Since the Royal Mail are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, let’s help them so they will not need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea!  If enough people follow these tips, it will work —- maybe you’ll get very little junk mail anymore.

And finally…No one can do sleepy like a kitten
moar funny pictures


1 thought on “Revenge on telemarketers and junkmailers”

  1. hehe this was a funny post. I've been subjected to so much telemarketing I usually answer the phone with a veeeerrry suspicious long drawn-out “Helllllllloooooooooooo…………..?” … haha!! OR, my favourite, to just answer the phone in French .. usually that results in people hanging up though. HAHA. It sorta backfires though, cuz when rellies or friends ring they hang up too.. HAHA.


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