Today has been most satisfactory.
I awoke to bright, blue skies and, although that waking was slightly later than it should have been, traffic was light so i was only very slightly late for work. In the morning i discovered that i have another reader – hello Mr K – and in the afternoon i was engaged on a very interesting but perhaps impossible enquiry. Just the way i like them. A query is no fun if the answer falls into your lap. The joy is in the chase.
Everything seems so sunny lately. Spring has sprung, days are longer and everything in my world is good. Certain negative forces in my life, although still around, feel less oppressive than they once did.
I'm working on being a better person but without altering my basic personality. I'm never going to be 'nice'. Not because i couldn't be but because i don't think nice people are particularly pleasant. I can't bear empty platitudes and false sincerity. I mean to stay honest but i'm working on sometimes keeping the honesty to myself. I'm learning to let things slide. Just because something is stupid and pointless and inefficient doesn't mean someone wouldn't rather keep doing it that way. I shall leave them to it. Oddly, folk seem to like it better when i help them less. Extraordinary!
I used to try so hard to be what others expected. That made me very, very unhappy. Being what i want has made me quite indecently joyful. In the last ten years i've been able to really, truely like myself at last. However, my behaviour is sometimes socially inappropriate it seems so i'm working now to strike a balance. Truely, deeply me on the inside with a delicate veneer of 'other people' on top. Not too thick though. I still want the real me to shine through.