My Auntie just died.

I am stunned. Numb. Empty.  I don’t seem to be feeling anything. Writing often calms me when I’m anxious.  Perhaps it will help release my feelings now.

She was an odd lady, my Auntie Janice, but she made me laugh.  She was always so excited by my smallest adventure or shocked by my least risqué remark.  “Jane Ann!” she would exclaim at those times, as if I were the sauciest scamp who ever lived.  Drawing out my childhood name to almost three syllables instead of two, Jane Ann!

She worried me when I was little.  I found her unpredictable.  Perhaps she mellowed as I grew but I think, rather, I came to appreciate her eccentricities.  She was very generous with her praise, always begging me to sing for her as if I was Maria Callas herself… and the tears have come…

… I just remembered, I spent the last week or so learning a song for her.  She kept asking me to sing Sunshine on Leith but I never knew the words.  Since she’s been ill I decided to learn it so next time she asked I could sing it for her.  Now I never will…

Goodbye lovely Janice.  I’ll miss you so.


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