serious stuff

Disenchantment

What do you do when someone you love and admire lets you down completely?  Perhaps my expectations are unrealistic but, from conversations with friends, it seems his behaviour has been shoddy by anyone’s standards.  Have I been an idiot for taking so long to realise?

I have been torn because I do love him.  Just because he has been pigheaded and selfish, that doesn’t make my concern for his well-being any less.  Is he hurt/ill/lonely/sad?  I don’t know because he refuses to communicate.  Today I made one more attempt to get in touch, to set my mind at rest.  I have done that.  Whatever his current mental state, it is entirely his own affair and no further business of mine.

Even now I find myself making excuses and allowances for him. Trying to understand. Nevertheless, the bottom line is this: he is treating me poorly and I deserve so much better – especially from him.

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