Right, this is something that’s been bugging me for a very long time: the oft quoted trope that “women don’t want nice guys”. This is, in my opinion, utter bollocks. Of course we want nice guys! We just want them to be sexy, interesting and intelligent as well. We want men with drive and imagination. Personally, I like some unashamed masculinity rolled in there too.
Self-proclaimed ‘nice guys’ are, in my experience, none of these things. They are dull. They are whiny. They are self-involved and generate as much sexual excitement as a dreich day in Ecclesmachan.
…and while I’m thinking of it, ‘nice guys’: if a woman turns down your advances, she’s not a flirt, a bitch, a slut or a tease. She’s just a human person, living her life, who doesn’t want to have sex with you. That is all. Also, because we’re taught not to hurt people’s feelings, women sometimes come up with excuses, rather than just saying what the really think. No one wants to hear things like: “I find you extremely unattractive” or “Yer face gies me the boak” – so don’t whine about excuses ‘nice guys’. Just be grateful she tried to let you down gently.
Obviously, some women are utter bitches, just like some men are complete bastards. I’m not talking about them here. I’m talking about normal, everyday, slightly maladjusted people.
I am so very, very sick of women getting the blame for the short-comings of menfolk. They can be delicate creatures with fragile egos. We know this and try our best to make allowances, but there is a limit. If you’re unable to find someone to love you, Mr Nice, take a look at yourself. What can you do to make yourself more appealing?
Women do this all the time, sometimes subconsciously, but also with deliberate intent. I have, myself, undertaken some serious re-adjustment. I wasn’t happy with who I was so I took steps to change. I didn’t blame anyone else for my circumstances. I adapted. Happily, it worked for me. I found myself a very nice guy. Sweet and compassionate, he is also hilariously funny, fantastically clever and devilishly sexy. I made myself into a better woman – and I won a better man.
In conclusion, if a woman is not attracted to a man it’s no-one’s fault – except perhaps his own. It’s just chemistry. Get over yourselves.