other stuff

The Grand Hooveration


I really don’t enjoy housework. Ok, few people do but I usually avoid cleaning to the point of creating a health hazard. Instead I engage in periodic bursts of intense household activity – like I did today.

It began with a much needed kitchen-blitzkrieg. Dishes, worktops – done. Next I took out the strimmer in order to beautify my tiny lawn (what I like to call ‘hoovering the garden’). This led me on, eventually, to the biggest job of the day…

The Grand Hooveration!  All floors, upstairs and downstairs – including the stairs themselves – it was exhausting. I almost died at one point when I caught my foot in the Dyson’s cable and just saved myself from crashing down, throat first, onto the edge of a bookshelf!

I cannot express how pissed off I would be to die doing housework. I am an adventurer! I need to die on a mountain or in a desert – not tripped by a hoover and beheaded by a bookcase!


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