serious stuff

A tidy mind

My house looks AMAZING right now!

It’s still odd, partially decorated and slightly shabby but it’s almost entirely tidy and uncluttered. I consider that a personal victory.

For years I suffered from clinical depression. As I struggled daily with the demon who moved into my brain and wanted to kill me, things like housework seemed even less important than usual. In a world where getting out of bed is an achievement, brushing your hair is a rare occurrence and showering feels like a terrible chore, sorting the mail and hoovering the stairs is an actual impossibility.

Happily, I finally got some good meds and I’ve been feeling well for several months now. I started chipping away at the housework mountain over the summer – sorting out wee corners, making trips to the recycling centre – but I was recently kicked into overdrive by the impending visitation of a friend.

For the last fortnight I’ve been a cleaning-demon. I sorted through piles of old paperwork, re-arranged rooms and ruthlessly recycling all that crap I’ve been holding on to ‘just in case’ (bye bye ancient desktop pc!).  I finally finished on the very day my pal was arriving. Don’t get me wrong, my house is still weird as all hell (as I’m sure she’ll tell you), but I’m happy with the way it looks. It’s a reflection of me as. It is, without doubt, my home and, most wonderfully for my mental health, I now feel comfortable about inviting friends into it.

I can’t tell you what a breakthrough that is for me.

Solitary by nature, I became a full-blown recluse while depressed. I’m off the meds now and have replaced them with yoga and meditation. I’ve been cleaning my mind as well as my home. As my pal Buddha teaches, I’ve really been letting that shit go.

So, my home and my head are tidy and uncluttered… and that feels feckin fantastic!

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